Dependency

I don’t understand it.

I started practicing tai chi 15 years ago, learning it mostly because it was interesting, and I wanted an exercise I could do even as I grew older. I did it because it was challenging, fun, and a way to burn off excess energy.

Somewhere along the way, in my thirties, I found that if I skipped my morning tai chi, my energy levels would simply be too low and I felt like crap. OK, just do a bit every day.

A few years ago I got the Bird Flu, and recovery was long… I had little strength for tai chi. How fortunate that I discovered the Eight Brocades Exercises then! Eventually I combined the two into my daily practice.

Fine.

But if I omitted either, I ended up regretting it. Omitting Eight Brocades left me stiff and sore. Omitting the Tai Chi left me loose but without strength.

Last year I discovered Standing Post, and incorporated that. So daily I try to do Eight Brocades, followed by a few minutes Standing Post, then the Chen Man Ching Style tai chi.

Marvelous.

Now I discover I cannot omit any of the three. I have to do them all! Otherwise my energy feels wrong or low. Something that started as a way to burn off energy now has become an absolutely necessary daily “engine priming” routine!

I suppose there are worse things to become dependent on… I do like Tai Chi and Qigong, but I just hate the idea of becoming dependent! Just what is going on here? Is it just aging and the energy decline related to that? Will I end up taking on more and more obligatory exercises to “prime” and sustain my energy?

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